Holy Crap

Has it really been almost three months since I updated this?

I am sitting at my kitchen table right now, in a fairly black mood, with a rather large, sharp kitchen knife off to my right, beside my hand. I used it at breakfast and didn't put it away. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt anyone, I just think it's kind of funny. It's like one of those little jokes that God plays...."I know you're really angry right now, so I'm going to put this great big knife beside you and see what you do..." It's probably some kind of test. Wonder if I have passed or failed it....?

Actually, I can't even kill flies (mosquitos, yes, but only with an emboldening yell of "DIE!") I'm the kind of person who would likely, even in the reddest of rages, maim themselves accidentally long before ever managing to inflict any pain upon anyone else... So even if I wanted to wade into murderous territory, I don't suppose I would find myself very successful at it. So, no one need worry, seriously-- ain't no stabbing going on here. Just murderously ironic observations.

I did, however, moments ago, feel like murdering my cats, just for a second. One of them had somehow knocked over the kitty litter box, spilling kitty litter all over the hall, and blocking the front door. The other cat (or I suppose it could have been the spiller, but I doubt it) then promptly peed on this new, lower, more convenient pile of litter. Lovely. I had to push the door open through a large, wet bead of stinky kitty litter, and then got stuck because my bike wouldn't fit around it. And then roll my bike through peed-on kitty litter.

Good thing they're so cute or they would have been set free in the forest long ago.